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If it feels amazing, and then feels like manipulation, it's love-bombing!
7th August 2024
Love bombing is when someone showers you with excessive attention, flattery, and gifts early in a relationship to make you feel special and adored. It sounds wonderful, right? But it's not.
Love bombing is a manipulative tactic used to control you and make you dependent on the love bomber. The negative effects of love bombing can be severe. It can lead to emotional dependency, loss of self-worth, and even mental health issues.
So, how can you tell if you're being love bombed? Here are ten signs to watch out for, with a touch of humor and suspense to keep things interesting.
1. Hot pics in your DMs
You've just met someone new, and suddenly, your phone is blowing up with flattering messages and hot selfies. They keep telling you how lucky they are to have found you. It feels great at first, but the constant messages can start to feel overwhelming. This is a classic sign of love bombing.
Love bombers want to keep you hooked by constantly reminding you of how amazing they think you are. It's like they have a sixth sense for knowing when you're not thinking about them. Creepy, right?
2. Showering you with gifts
It's only been a few weeks, and they've already bought you an expensive watch, taken you on a surprise weekend getaway, and sent flowers to your office. Sure, it feels nice to be spoiled, but it's all happening too fast. Love bombers use gifts to make you feel indebted to them and to create a sense of obligation.
Remember, genuine relationships build over time, not through material possessions. If it feels too good to be true, it probably is.
3. Over-the-top compliments
You’ve never heard so many compliments in your life. They tell you that you're the most beautiful, intelligent, and amazing person they've ever met. It's like you're starring in your own romantic movie. While it's nice to be appreciated, constant and excessive praise can be a red flag.
Love bombers use compliments to make you dependent on their approval. They want you to crave their validation and feel insecure without it.
4. Constant contact
Every time you look at your phone, there's a message from them. "Good morning!" "How's your day?" "I miss you!" It's nice to feel wanted, but if they're messaging you non-stop, it can become suffocating. This constant contact is a way to keep you focused on them and not on anything else.
Healthy relationships have boundaries and respect for personal space. If your new partner can't give you a moment's peace, it might be a sign of love bombing.
5. Planning your future together
You've only been dating for a month, and they're already talking about moving in together, marriage, and how many kids you'll have. It feels like you've skipped the getting-to-know-you phase and jumped straight into planning your future. This is another tactic of love bombers.
They rush the relationship to make you feel like you're in a whirlwind romance. But real love takes time to develop. If they're moving too fast, it's time to slow things down.
6. Isolation from friends and family
At first, they seem to want to spend all their time with you, which is flattering. But then they start to get annoyed when you want to see your friends or family. They might even try to convince you that your loved ones are jealous or don’t understand your relationship.
Love bombers isolate you from your support system to make you more dependent on them. It's a way to control and manipulate you without interference from others.
7. Emotional rollercoaster
One minute they are showering you with love and affection, and the next, they are cold and distant. This push and pull can leave you feeling confused and anxious. Love bombers create this emotional rollercoaster to keep you off balance and make you more reliant on their affection.
Stable relationships don’t have such dramatic highs and lows. If you’re constantly on an emotional rollercoaster, it might be time to get off the ride.